Tip #7 Clarity

Clarity. How do you know what the other person is saying?
Confirm it.
How do you know that the other person understood what you thought you were saying?
Listen to the response you get back.

Confirming what you think you heard.
Confirming what you think the other person said can take a number of different forms. The easiest way is to reframe (say what you heard in a slightly different way) what you heard. For example, “I’m not feeling well today, and I don’t want to talk to you.” The response might be “Oh, it sounds like you are under the weather and don‘t have the energy to really consider some things, is that right?” Or, “I’m sorry to hear you are dealing with not feeling well, and I understand not wanting to talk now.” Or, “I know how it is not to feel well, it can take all your energy.”

By confirming what you heard and even showing empathy you have confirmed what the other person was saying and you have begun to build rapport. Good job! Keep it up!

Listen to the response you get back.
Listen to what the other person says or does as a response to what you said. You have called a person on the phone and said, “Hi, how are you doing today?”
The respond might be, “I’m busy, what do you want anyway?”
Whoa, what did they hear? Let’s do a quick rewind and find out. You continue, “I was just wondering how you were doing because I wanted to see if you were the right person to hire for a small project I need to get done.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you were a telemarketer. They are the only ones that ask how I am. What can I help you with?”
“That’s all right, I don’t think you are the right person for my project.” At this point, you have made some judgements and hung up the phone. What did you learn from the exchange that made you terminate the conversation? Possible that the other person was grumpy. Or, possibly they were too busy, or perhaps too ready to jump to a conclusion. It doesn’t matter. You gained clarity to move forward with or discontinue the conversation.

Be clear in what you say. Unless you are addressing a college professor, doctor, lawyer or someone who has a good command of the language you are speaking use regular easy to understand words and verify what you think you heard.

The benefit is you gain rapport, trust, and understanding.


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